#UGBlogWeek: Pocket full of shy (Verse II)

This was started at DJ Twonjex’s blog – Verse 1. As part of UGBlogWeek Chain Stories week, here goes my continuation of his story!

That was the last time,
the last time I pushed and you pulled.
They say that I shouldn’t give up,
I should keep nudging.
The gentle pushing and prodding,
that in time you will take notice of what is before you.
Rather who is before you.

A me.
A tired me.
A lost me.

My identity sacrificed at the altar of you,
hidden in myriad attempts to capture your attention.
Grasping at our fading memories…
When you smiled and it kissed my eyes.
When you laughed and my ears rejoiced.
Your feather touch that shook my core.
A core now shattered in reality.

My reality.
A sad reality.
Our reality.

A reality surrounded in that fact that,
You don’t even know my name.

aliciayoudont

#Chain 1: Twonjex’s Pocket full of shy
https://djtwonjex.wordpress.com/2017/02/14/pocket-full-of-shy/

just another dandelion #UGBlogWeek

I’ve been counting down the hours to this meeting. I’m calling it that because using the word date would make my heart beat a lot faster than it should. I’m getting chills even thinking about it.

He has been on my mind since that day in class, that day I turned and I looked at him. He was no longer just another classmate that I took no notice of. No. Looking at him then, he was a such the fox whose wool had fallen off. After that, every single glance elicited the dimple that has been kept hidden from the audience of the masses. I’m shocked at how long we have been in close contact and I have all but given him a once over. Talk about time wasted.

I’m here now. Seated in the Cafe. 2 hours early. Bidding time. You are rolling your eyes because you think I am desperate, don’t you? No. I am not desperate. I am just punctual. I detest being late especially to something that I have clearly been looking forward to. I mean really, why act fashionably late – keyword being act.

I glance at the clock in the cafe, it’s 1.50 minutes left. I should probably order something as I wait. God knows it might make the time go faster. I’m at the cafe adjacent to the cafe we agreed to meet at. Did you really think I’d be seated at the venue for 2 hours, come on! No. I plan to be at the venue at 2 sharp. 2pm will find me walking in, smelling fresh and smiling sweet.

Window shop. That’s what I need. I weave my way through Woolworths and Mr. Price, calling on my temperamental accent (half English-half Kenyan accent) whenever I needed to act like I’m important enough to shop in these spots. Yeah, some facades are real!

I bump into a friend as I cross the mall, now headed to Aristoc, to hide in one of its corners with a good book that I cannot afford. She is looking at me with that glance. The one that says, I am trying not to feel sorry for you in your single state. You see, we used to be tight – through out vacation and campus, we were as thick as thieves, but now she is married with twins and I’m just here crushing on a twin.

Jared.

Sigh! Who names their child Jared? Okay. Let me clarify that statement, which Ugandan names their child Jared? A Ugandan parent with a vision, that’s who! Goodness! I’m smiling just thinking about his name.

I hand the guard my helmet and look out for The secret lives of Baba Segi’s wives, I find a comfortable seat and set my alarm before I start the book. I know myself, when I get lost in a good book, dusk and dawn roll into one.

I turn to the first page when it happens. I catch a whiff of a cologne that has kept me up for several nights. Some men just know how to pick the right cologne. I choose to ignore, after all, my mind is made up – Jared and I will become the real deal.

The scent is getting stronger and my concentration is fleeing. Mr. Scent smells like he is walking toward me, Dear God don’t let him sit here! I cannot cheat on Jared.

Paige?

The world stops. A prickly sensation attacks my underarms, which normally means this is the onset of patched sweaty underarms.

Control yourself WOMAN! My brain admonishes the rest of me in a very strong tone.

I look up and the hallelujah chorus is coursing through my veins. Cupid had drawn back his bow and his arrow had hit it’s target.

Jared? No way! 

My voice sounded surprisingly more controlled than my fingers showed.

I got here a little earlier and decided to spend time trolling books in Aristoc. You know hiding the ones I really want but cannot afford.

He does what? Could the universe be more specific – I do exactly the same thing!! My eyes seem to have given away my reaction because he has raised his hand to him mouth.

I probably shouldn’t have said that, you probably think I’m weird, he says while doing the African blush.

I laugh and say, weird is good. What? Did you really think I was going to let him know I do the exact same thing. Nah bruh, sometimes games are good and no, I am not being a hypocrite. Why am I explaining myself anyway, this is my story. I discretely turn off my alarm as we head to the cafe together.

We walk to the Bistro together, because face it – Bistro is where all magical connections begin. Well, at least the magical connections in my head.

His hair is cut just right and his eyes do that squint thing that I find so adorable. He smiles starts from the right side of his mouth and a shadow of a dimple is formed on his right cheek. His cologne is still driving me crazy but I like this kind of crazy. I’m watching him from the corner of my eye, committing everything to memory like that git commit command.

We are seated inside and the waiter brings the menu, I already know what I’m going to have. A. Tall. Drink. Of. Water. He orders an expresso and I go for the lemon-ginger honey tea. I’d rather have a milkshake but milk and my tummy, not for a first meeting.

We talk about the weather, current affairs, even the parking situation in Kampala. In my mind, I’m ticking imaginary radio buttons, going check. We have rapport – check. He scent is absolutely intoxicating – check. He doesn’t speak in the dis-dah-do-dem-dey – check.

Silence. Gosh, We are silent. He is looking at me intently. Crap! Did he ask something and I wasn’t paying attention?

Sheepishly, I admit that my mind wandered off, and ask him what he just said.

Will you do our website?

I’m sorry what? Reality beginning to dawn on me

The reason I wanted to meet with you was to ask if you would do our website. We have seen some of the sites you work on and my friends and I think you would make our project website really ridiculously good.

***

This is part one in the dandelion series.

Dandelions or Satan’s Jajja as I used to call them in primary school are beautiful and almost have a certain ethereal quality. This, however, does not take away the reality that they are weeds, plain and simple.

I am not yet sure where this story is heading but I hope you enjoy this journey discovery with me.

Birthday. Birthday. Birthdaaayyyyyy!!!!!!!!

April. April. April. April is hereeeeee!!!

Aside from the fact that April is basically when Spring begins to show properly; from the first colourful blooms that shoot out, giving life to the tree and the street that was previously nothing but a white slate… Why wouldn’t you love, April?!

Not close enough to home for you? Okay, How about a blissful break to the heat wave that fried those of us close to the equator? The phone reminder to carry a jacket because the sun is needed else where?

Stillllllllll not close enough for Kirabo! Okay!!! How about it is her BIRTHday!!!

Dancing to Kanda Bongoman's kwasa Kwasa (I wasn't always a two stepper)
Dancing to Kanda Bongoman’s kwasa Kwasa (I wasn’t always a two stepper)

Yes and I am so excited, you would think this is my first birthday! Well, technically, I have been on a high since April 1 (no joke or pun intended *giggles*).

One this day, back in 1986 at the National referral hospital on a Friday evening, I belted out what according to my mum was the first of many incessant cries. Mbu I liked to cry, it was a hobby – I heard the stories of how they made me sleep… Hmph! Heneway… Moving on.

What What!
The hair! What? What!!

Reflection time… For the first time, in 10 years – I realise that I was never old. No seriously. I just realised that for all that feeling that I was old, or the that ‘old’ feeling that comes when the burden of responsibility bears down on you – I really wasn’t old. Gah! So what did I do yesterday, I bought me one Fiesta – Caramel with nuts (Ice Cream on a stick) and one Cornet (Ice Cream in a cone) and walked home while I ate them… (Walking home from Church used to be a thing – I am bringing it back. Tehehe…)

But I gotta say, when I look back honestly speaking, the last 10 years have been something else – an epic adventure on the roller coaster called life. The challenge for me now is trying to remember all the high and low lights, the in betweens and the seemingly small and not so insignificant.

By an insane miracle of God, I got two degrees – one. two. By another even greater miracle I am actually practising what I studied in both degrees. Education was always important to my family, Kirabo – on the other hand… (to be completed on a coffee chat). I have been in study groups on both occasion with some of the most brilliant minds, I have ever encountered.

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I lived and worked on two continents and in 4 different timezones. I froze my toes off in one of those places. I put my feet in the Pacific and also trekked from Upper Hill to Nairobi CBD. I have worked for some pretty sick organisations and I am currently employed by one that I think takes the cup!

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Santa Monica Pier, LA

I have been a part of ministry in 5 different Churches here, two of which I am still actively involved in. We went ko for Mango Tree Revival – P.U.S.H. (I wonder if this still happens on Campus). I sang in a mass choir. Yes. Benny Hinn Mass Choir. I was a cell intern who boycotted becoming a leader – or did I? I danced at Prime Time

I have had the privilege of being called many things, some derogatory even – there is two sides to this one: the – Why would someone call you that? What about you made them get to that point of calling you that? Were they justified in their judgement of you? Okay, maybe those are three sides. Tehehe… No, passing judgement is not acceptable, however, if you are ever on the other side – maybe consider these before you banish them to life in the outer realms of your universe. But on the flip side, I have lived to see some words of blessing and prophecy come to pass. I have had way too many Serah moments.

This one made me smile, I have had acquaintances who have turned into friends into family – like seriously, A’bemikwano – you know uwaseleves! Then also had the reverse happen as well, friends who turn into acquaintances. I have broken hearts (this is beyond dating relationships – sometimes we say things to our friends that break them), had mine broken as well. I have made so many friends, so many – for an antisocial melancholic, anyway.

On the heart note, Oh Lord, I crushed on a fellow who was light years out of my reach. Tehehe… Make that two! Eons of light years… I think you get the point.

**sigh**
**sigh** …judging me is useless!!

I have been rock climbing in Kalagi (After Gayaza). Yes, Going up seemed hard until I had to come down. Tehehe… My friends were there for a while, coaxing me to let go of the rock. I went rafting on the Nile… Oh Jesus… You made Water. Eh! I saw my life going… End credits rolling with ZERO hope of an after credits scene!!

I have had the privilege of watching several of my friends grow in their passion and start companies that are defining and redefining industries! I had a taste of entrepreneurship myself and maybe one day I shall return to it. I went for my first ever novel writing class.

I have had dreams. I have watched some of them grow and die. I have watched others grow and bloom into crazy things. I have loads of others that just seem misplaced…

One other thing… I happened to lose my GrandPa and My Dad, in the space of several months. You see, daddy was the other reason that April was special. He was born on the 26th of April. (If this is your first time here, then a quick catchup on why my dad is important can be found here and here). April was our month! However, in 2013, that changed. I also love the number four, because I was born on the fourth day of the fourth month (**smiles** at the random coincidence of the other four that just popped into my head). Sadly, he died on the fourth of February. I remember thinking, Why? Professing the way I will never again love these things. But God has a unique way of using mercy, time, grace and love… Now, 3 years later, I am more excited than I ever remember being.

hny
Happy New Year ’92, avec my Daddy and my sister!

I should close this before the word count hits 1000. I have become verbose in my old age. I am watching the rain through my office window, while listening to Florocka and simply excited. Rain is a blessing and since I love rain, I should like to bless you – whoever has read up to this point

May the God that I worship reveal himself a new in your life. May He shower you with his blessing and his favour. May He hide you in the shelter of his wing. May you walk with confidence and your head lifted high – knowing that the one who walks with you is much more fierce than you can ever imagine. May your story be one that inspires generations to come. May God ignite your passion and may you live to see their impact! May his mercy and love never leave you and May you always be found in the shelter of his love!

Amen!!

Now back to businesssss!!!
It is my birthdayyyyyyyyy!!!!!

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2OHLe

 

the things about life

there are things about life that you do not know. things that you will never know. things that will never be a surety. a certainty. 

there are things about life that cannot change. there are things about life that we think we know. things that we think are certainty.

more often than not, these intertwine. boundaries are blurred and certainty marred. this is when fear and uncertainty reign supreme. 

the blurred blobby mess presented it self to me. hi. i am your life. deal with it. and deal with it we must. we must look at our lives and recognize. the mess. the hurt. the pain. the sorrow. we must. we must acknowledge the victories. the breathe that enters and leaves our bodies. the light that pierces through the foggy perception that demarcates our dream territory and our reality. 

having moments is okay. feeling too much is okay. my memoir already has a title. dreams are meant to be laid in the hands of God. or are we meant to sweat and toil for them. not having them handed to us like a present. 

this is what happens when i do not do my devotions regularly. when i do not watch my spiritual intake. I wouldn’t be offended if you found this spooky. 

there is a point in here some where. one day i shall find it.