The Unknown Plague

Aya! I am still here. I am still alive. I am still on a high. Haha, Yes – seems I have still got that indescribable ish scribbled all over my soul.
(Did you see what I did there with the bibls? ).

Okay, Kirabo – Focus!

Have you heard of the graph effect?

Social_Network_Analysis_Visualization

That visualization is basically how people in the behind the scenes describe a Social Network. You are connected to one person, who is connected to someone else, who you now become connected to through that one person? Makes sense?

Well, this is also how my brain works (weirdo alert). Where the data points are significant events and whenever I look back they are all connected. This perception has seeped into my storytelling – both vocal and written.

Telling a story is hard, because I feel I need to first catch you up on the background of events… Now, the absolutely utterly incredible thing is… My attention span is weak and needs to actively be restarted.

No. Seriously, I zone out a LOT!! I am actually thinking of playing chess again to exercise that attention muscle. (Do you play chess? I am interested in playing – online or at a meet).

Back to the looking-back-and-connect-the-dots effect, I find myself taken back whenever I am faced with the question of ‘what next?‘ It doesn’t matter the context – work, church, personally, food (Bwahaha, I lie! I have a food plan!).

I looove to be prepared, but I have learned that my preparation, often makes God look at me and smile, probably saying, ‘Aww… how cute.’ Our dots are often so far from each other that I am slowly learning to just let go of the reigns more and more every day. That is why that question is so hard for me…

I am often fond of saying, ‘Lol! Honestly, I do not know. I wish I did, but I don’t’

What is next in my career?
What is next in my life now that I have hit that earth shattering age in which universes collide leading to fragmented thinking (Tihihihi, I exaggerate – deal with it, hun)?
What is next now that my nephew looks sooooooo cute?
What is next now that le former crush knows that he was once le crush – apparently this is the way to effectively rid yourself of the crush. So brutal mehn, but very effective.

I have gone on a rabbit trail, haven’t I?

I have hopes about the ‘what nexts’, I have fears about the ‘what nexts’ but the truth is my look-back-and-connect-the-dots view has not only made my conversation skills awkward (like a geek needs more social ineptness) but it has also brought to the forefront that fact that an intricate thread does exist.

A thread that tells of the faithfulness of a strategic commander-in-chief whose infinite wisdom has saved me from the brink of sudden destruction and distraction. Who has commanded the massive angelic army to come to my aide as I lay puddled on the floor. By whose word, life springs forth and yet sends me a gentle whisper every morning to wake me.

Yet, on this 19th day of this beautiful month, I feel that I have let him down. I have found myself lost in the busyness and excitement of my life that I have forgotten who has tenderly courted and danced with me in the stillness of the night.

With a lump in my throat, I pledge to return: to the heart that has consistently sought me out of the mire that is sometimes used to describe my existence.

I am yours, Abba.
Help me maintain!


Cetsusie

*Images source: Google Images*

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The edge of the bin

tell me,
am i wicked?

is it my recklessness that you shun?
is it my wickedness that makes me so unbecoming?

tell me,
am i wicked?

does the stench i exude alert you of my presence?
does my aura reek of rot and despair?

won’t you tell me,
am i wicked?

for my cravings have found themselves at the bottom pile of your priorities.
priorities? why must i continue in this naivety?
for even priorities, have some esteem attached to them.

no. my cravings have found themselves torn and crumbled,
tossed over your shoulder.

for a second, they teeter – on the edge of the bin,
almost as if – in one final desperate attempt to refuse their fate,
but even a second comes to an end,
dejected, the fall…

to where they belong.
to where they must remain.

tell me,
am i wicked?

***

Inspired by:

…but he refuses to satisfy the craving of the wicked.
– Prov 10:3


For the love of Calvin & Hobbes…contact

** Images source: Google Images

[#UGblogWeek – Day 2] Whose side are you on?

I’m wringing my hands again, as if that will help the dull ache that has returned. The ache in my heart which, coincidentally, is now beating only because it has too. I am mad at you. Again. Why do I put myself through this!

My gaze falls on my left hand which bears no mark of commitment whatsoever. Quite the contrary, the manicured fingernails perfectly compliment the delicate fingers, yet still something is missing.

I pick up the phone and dial the number that I had saved as a sequence of patterns. He picks up the phone and I can tell there is a lump caught in his throat as the gruff hey comes out. I’m sorry, I spill out – rubbing my nose with the back of my hand, this is a technique that I have found will keep the tears at bay a little while longer. No, babe, it’s my fault. As he proceeds, the dam breaks and there is a massive overflow of incoherent mutterings on my end, that seem to insist that I take the blame.

muzhchina-zhenschina-oruzhie-anime

The route we have taken to define this thing has left many wondering how we have kept going.

It’s the look in his eyes when I catch him looking at me, that gentle yet fierce look that leaves me both breathless and shy. The way we linger in the hug, like we each know, we want it to be one second longer. That first day, when he rested his hand on my waist and all I saw was red lines and the end credits scene of the story that is my single-hood.

You see, we are a bit like Mary and Henry Talbot, they all labeled me as cold and unfeeling and yet one touch from you sets ablaze several significant portions of my being. The imprint of your hand, is still seared onto my back from that first day. You pulled me toward you and smiled, everything inside me melted like a candle’s wax giving way to it’s wick.

You have no idea who Adama is or why Civil War has set itself up to be an epic battle. You smile bemused when I reenact mine are bigger than yours and look on in disbelief as I fidget about setting up the PS4 whilst cursing technology under my breath. The geek who fidgets with hardware – what a conundrum!

kobe-bryant-is-flanked-by-lebron-james-and-dwayne-wade-of-team-usa
errm…

I watch as it ticks you off that I cannot tell the difference between Kobe, Wade and Lebron while I make a fuss over the FedExpress and the Djoker.

Novak-Djokovic-Suit-Wallpaper
why.not??

Once while we were hosting, I commented out loud how I thought Van Gaal & Mourinho should be left alone to play in the team the next season. I smiled to myself proud of the fact that I had mentioned a football players, only to see the look of utter disbelief on your face as your friends that we were hosting suddenly found the pillowcase embroidery an interesting case study. I took the disbelief to mean something positive.

Your mother seems to keep dropping subtly veiled hints and it has me worried, you brush it off but I cannot shake it. I see the same glint of uncertainty in your eyes when my brothers demand your presence at the Rubgy Pitch. Beer + Pork + The Game — their idea of bonding.

You say nakedness is a state that you would prefer to be in, the shock that befell me upon the realisation that you were being serious was comical. Truth is it was all for show really, because I have not revealed to you my complete aversion of water. Well, on the weekends mostly — why waste water when countries are prepared to go to war over it. If it was important enough to be raised in a presidential debate, it is important enough to consider.

We work because we have chosen that this thing, the one we call love will conquer all. Every difference that we are told will be our downfall, we have chosen to look at — then look beyond. You see, we picked a side: Ours & we have learned how to play for our team.

We have both had perfect before, it never left a sweet taste in our mouths. Only the bitter ache that comes with salted pillows in the midnight hour. No. We have had perfect before, we were determined not to go back.

Our individual little imperfections have cemented the missing pieces in each other making us — together, the perfect one.

Disclaimer: This is was all fiction, but it was so much fun to write.
PS: Ahem… The inspiration of this post came from JJ’s blog – blame him!
In Other News, you UBW dose of Calvin & Hobbes…

_calvin_nude_descending

P.P.S.: If you haven’t caught on by now, the water aversion is real…
Image Source: Google Images

#UgBlogWeek (Day 7): The Uganda I see…

Sometimes I sit through my contemplative moments in the think tank room and try to decipher the mystery that is me. Lol! No. I am not trying an attempt at vanity, beat-on-yourself post, rather – I am genuinely intrigued at the enigma that I am.

e·nig·ma
 iˈniɡmə/
(noun)
 a person or thing that is mysterious, puzzling, or difficult to understand.
 synonyms: mystery, puzzle, riddle, conundrum, paradox, problem, quandary...

For the entirety of my life, there are the ‘but I thought’ moments that later on define the next phase. Hmm… Might be a tad bit presumptuous to use ‘entirety’ seeing as I am not yet dead – ah! but who is paying close attention anyway.

One mystery that I have declared I will decipher is Tech. I have a knack for tech and I think it is really cool. No. Not the gory details of building up systems – although that too is cool. No. Not that. It’s the brainstorming, idea generation is what I find super cool. Haha! You can imagine, I would be seated right at the bottom of the process – No one really remembers who came up with the idea. However sometimes, that is not necessary – the recognition, I mean. Sometimes, all you want to see is the project done.

‘An example?’, I hear you ask.

unra
Photo Credit: @unra_ug

We are currently in a phase where the Uganda National Roads Authority (UNRA) is upping it’s game – working on widening several roads as well as paving new ones. Well, this would be the perfect opportunity to integrate sensors into those roads. We have a major challenge of traffic congestion in the city and in several suburbs. I think for this entity to function with increased efficiency, little things like sensors would help all government functions involved, make better informed decisions.

Now, I hear thoughts like ‘we don’t have the budget’ OR ‘that needs Internet’ – You do not need a huge budget, or those ridiculously looking shiny sensor gadgets that Hollywood portrays. Nor do you need perfectly functioning MAN (Metropolitan Area Network, tehehe – I got you there, didn’t I?).

bluetooth_street_big
Libelium Vehicle Traffic Monitoring Bluetooth sensors over Zigbee. Understanding the flow and congestion of vehicular traffic is essential for efficient road systems in cities.

What do you need, according to the idea in my head? You need low cost, low maintenance sensors. They can communicate to each other using ZigBee. Then have them talk to a central sensor hub. Now this is the point (the central sensor hub) that would need an internet connection – a simple GSM sim card to communicate 4 times a day (to start with – after that we can move to real time delivery) to a server sitting some where.

No, sadly, this is not an original idea – this type of system is already being used/rather was being used for sewerage monitoring. Also Libelium have an identical idea, but uses both Bluetooth and Zigbee to monitor both pedestrians and vehicle traffic.

What you need to collect? How about number of cars that use that route? The different times of the day that are considered peak. The different circumstances on the route, i.e. One Way, Traffic-Officer Controlled, Traffic lights controlled route, Weather details, near-by structures like schools and hospitals.

What if we compared this data with other things like number of accidents on a particular route? Looked at the state of those roads – do they have pedestrian walkways? What if said data communicated with traffic lights and turned them off and on depending on actual networked traffic data?

What if…??

Local innovation hubs are teeming up with brilliant minds that can make this work. Not to mention the presence of start ups like FundiBots – that actually work with robotics and sensors.

Gone is the era where such ideas awed us! This is the time we should be thinking about how we can make things work in our own context.

Now will UNRA read this? Maybe someone over there has already pitched  a similar idea or will someone grab this idea and run to them with a pitch in dollar bills (pronounced Dalla-Bills)? Or will the cynicism that seems to be creeping up on the populace ahead of #UgandaDecides, cause them to read this and rubbish it saying things like – ‘Ah! Now see this one. We have other problems.‘, ‘the government… blah blah‘,’it will never change‘…

Sometimes, my mind goes on little detours like this one. I also think it is important to note that there are people who come up with ideas and there are people who are excellent at implementing the ideas. In rare exceptional cases, there people who can do both (round of applause for students everywhere).

It’s important to figure out which you are and not let the prestige carried with a title tempt you down a path that you will inevitably fail at.