Melancholy Reflections…

hunched shoulders and the never ending second guesses.

whispered thoughts echoing quietly in the silence.

the crisp dank scent of dry earth.

can you see me, i wonder?

the contradictions, wrapping around me tight.

each breath, another exhale.

sigh.

*****

Tehehe, no. I am not having a bad day. An off day. Or a sad day. Tehehe, quite the contrary, I am having a reflective day. I would like to say that I used to be but I think the better thing to say is I am.

So, I am a little bit of a melancholy. I have the tendency to internalise – each action that I take: gets rated and graded by great counsel that scoffs in a lofty manner in my head.

Lately, I have had the increasingly great capacity to cut them off mid sentence. More often than not, this is cool – but it also inadvertently leads to something else.

A slight shift in character.

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13 thoughts on “Melancholy Reflections…”

  1. Banange! Never to get these socks.
    Recently someone said something insulting to me (they veiled it) when I called them out I was told “stop being such a mel”
    Ps: I’m phlegmatic mostly hehe

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Is your friend San or Col? Tehehehe, I think that comment would have warranted an intense 1hour session in my head.

      Ps: pssst, that socks King – I think as soon as he sees the alert, he just hits comment from his Inbox.

      Like

      1. That must be the only way he gets the socks so quick haha.
        Friend is Phleg-San but they treat me with a choleric hand Lol! But like you said character shift is possible, sometimes I get mel phases when something bad happens but they usually pass.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. But seriously, I so totally used to be like that for the longest time. The voices in my head analysing every action very critically, going over every interaction to tell me what I should have done better. It was exhausting.

    I discovered that they almost never cheered me on unless I’d reacted in anger or ‘put someone in their place’. Then they were cheerleaders. Shortly afterward, however, they’d chide me for losing my temper in the first place. I decided I wasn’t going to carry around any non-paying tenants any more. It’s a lot quieter now. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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