16. LOA: ‘things just start to happen’

August. I really do adore the month of August. It comes second to the only month that matters… April. One of the many reasons I love August is because Pinterest… Lol! Sounds a teensy bit shallow, doesn’t it?! I always loved the photos that would come up, all the different colored leaves and trees… the prettiness and differentness… not just green green all the time. Then I came here… and missed the green green all the time. Lol! Life can sometimes be an enigma. I have no answers for this randomness!

Second to Pinterest is, it has almost always been my reflection month. This week as I’m prepping to go into deep reflection mode, I realized that I’m walking into a season of lasts. I’m not even trying to wax poetic, I’m literally saying bye to a number of things (including the Prime student discount. Sneaky! What they did. Sneaky!)

One of the many things ending this week is the 8-week leadership course that I’ve been doing. Actually, let me tell you the proper whole story: this is the point where you grab a cup of black chai with some ginger and honey and chamomile, and listen.

This story begins with a movement… **insert an epic Shore score or a Brian Tyler one (listen, that last franchise lives on because of some us – earn that paycheck, Ty!). In the early months of 2020, there was this conference that caught fire and was everywhere. Okay! Everywhere might be a teensy exaggeration but no lie, multiple people in my network kept posting about this Season21. Season21 this, Season21 that. So I logged on, just to see what was all the fuss about. Alas, I soon became one of the people in the network posting, “Season 21 this, Season 21 that.”

Since that conference, I’ve kept my eye on those people… Just occasionally checking in, low-key plugging in to their events (nanti pandemic… all of a sudden errybody can now invest in an online presence. Yes! That last portion was dripping salt). Sometimes having conversations with my sister about things I’ve heard. Dropping a quote I’d heard while in conversation with my roommate. Talking practical lived theology with my darling cousin. I’d become a visitor-member… you know, like in the folk stories… the people who know your business but aren’t actually in the family? You know those fictional people… They were me. I was them.

Months dredged on of this kind of outskirts membership… until 8 weeks ago when said sibling decided to say, “You should try this class”. Lol! This sibling of mine asks nothing of me… I mean nothing. Also, the way she lay it on the table, there was no build up, no fanfare, no marketing… just “You should try this class”. I mean if it were you, tell me, how would you object? I need data for incase this happens again.

My attitude/response: Fine! What do I have to loose? I shall try as much as possible to remain in the background. stay silent. stay hidden. Such a MAJOR LOL! (Pronounced Low-l, not el-oh-el)

For even more context, around the same time, I was in what felt like a quagmire… (Yes, I said quagmire). My entire being was close to despondent, and just generally upset. So, I wasn’t about to emotionally invest in this class or these people… My soul had taken a hit and I was still trying to deal with the emotions that came with that reality. Suffice to say, I didn’t want to invest in new relationships with new people.

Then the first class happened. Zoom. We go around the room. Hardly, 30 minutes in and your girl was pulling all the English words to provide clarity to the state of her being. So much for stay silent. stay hidden. But. I needed this. I needed a space where I could process what I was thinking in the safety of other people who were also on the leadership growth journey. Then came the assignments. Reading and reflecting wasn’t a problem for me. Coming up with goals and vision, a little harder but still doable. Spend 7 days without uttering a single complaint about anything – whhhhaattttttt?! That simple task taught me how exceptionally creative my brain can get.

If you are Ugandan and you just rolled your eyes – spend a week without complaining or speaking negatively about your leaders/taxis/bodas/rolex guy. Then come back and tell me.

If you are PhD student who just rolled your eyes… the task would include not uttering a negative thing about your university, your program, your research, your benefits, your research, your conference deadlines…

If any of you just went “but…”, welcome to my world!

It has been 8 weeks of habit forming and the ever so subtle mind shift on habits long ingrained. It has also been 8 weeks of saying, “Oh my gosh, I needed to read that chapter!“, “Dang! This week that chapter was about me“, “That is the principle I should have applied this week“… to the point of literally feeling like a broken record.

At first, like the fabulously studious individual that I am, homework was to be done on Wednesday night. Class was on Thursday at 0000hrs (7am UG), so this was my excuse, working on Wednesday night would ensure I’m awake for class. One random week, I felt an inner challenge to try reading the chapter a day after class. Basically, don’t wait for next Wednesday, do the reading on Friday… **insert boom emoji. It was a total light bulb moment! Now, instead of reflective analysis, I had strategies… My game shifted.

It has also been 8 weeks of toying with the idea of a new law…

psst, if your chai is finished, go grab yourself another cup... this second cup can be Kericho Gold… any flavor!

My mind has been toying with the frequency with which tools and strategies have presented themselves/materialized/been discussed within my hearing. I’ve been equally intrigued at their relevance to my specific life circumstances. I have a sneaky suspicion that the space itself is the cause. My choice/decision to enter this space put me in proximity to the solutions I really needed. This, even though my decision was made with a less than great attitude. Thus, I submit to you, that the 16th invaluable law of growth should be the Law of Attraction. **insert that Ludwig Göransson score

Many people hold the belief that if you put it out in the universe (and Twitter), the universe will hear and respond to your request. I’m here theorizing that there are some spaces and situations that you walk into and things just start to happen. LOL! Really, there is no eloquent way to put it, things just start to happen. Honestly, it is a little eerie how on the nose some of these things are.

One example, I was reading the chapter on trade-offs, but something remained unanswered. I wasn’t sure what, I didn’t voice it (because I wasn’t sure how). The next week, I go to the library app and I check out a book by Greg McKeown called Essentialism. If you’ve read this book, you just smiled, didn’t you? The entire book, or rather the 85% I’ve gotten through is basically the practical extension of the trade-off chapter.

Many people believe that if you put it out in the universe (and Twitter), the universe will hear your request. I’m here theorizing that there are some spaces and situations that you walk into and… LOL! Really, there is no eloquent way to put it… things just start to happen

Another example? Okay. During one of the weeks, I really felt like I needed to figure out how to take time off. I needed a retreat. I needed to pause and reflect. I reached out to multiple friends for help and ideas (some of you are reading this! S/O to y’all!!). Picked different places, balked at the prices then stopped and started again. Then I found a place within budget and now was the task of… what will I do once there… Would you like to guess what that week’s class was about? The Law of Reflection: the importance & tools of pausing to reflect.

I am data point of one, with many sub data points. If you have taken any of these classes, I’m curious, have you seen my proposed law in action as you have walked through the class? Would you mind sharing any examples you have? Or perhaps you feel this proposed law should take a different shape? Come, let’s have a conversation about it. I will not pretend that this suggestion is similar to the constant, k. No. Very few things are unchanging, this proposed 16th law might change or grow or burn to the ground. LOL! But before that last one, let us reason and debate about how you may have seen it play out in your lived experience on this growth journey.

So one last time, as I put down this pen and reflect on both the hard won wisdom I have earned this summer, and all these thoughts that I hope you have read with indulgence. It has been a summer of teaching myself to say goodbye to lost hopes and dreams.

Nooow! Somebarry, say Now!

Now, I anticipate with pleasing expectation my coming rest!

Two Books. The top book is green with the text John C Maxwell, 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth. The bottom book is black, spiral bound with a white outline drawing of a woman of African descent with a head wrap

Credits: All photos are mine. 
Lastly, this blog also contains a nod to the genius that is Lin (in my head we are on first name basis)! So many of his songs have been part of my LOA experience this summer. I simply really couldn't resist. Don't be too mad! Add a little playfulness to your life! 

The tensions between shadows and light [Day 4, #UGBlogMonth]

There is this corner in her room. This corner has a desk — a tiny ebony colored desk. She bought the desk for quick access. She has not been writing for a while and now her muses have gone dark. They sit in stubborn silence each time she picks up her pen and opens her book. And yet, every time she turns off the light and lays her head on her pillow… They awaken with the vigilance of the noon-day sun in dry season.

Now, that is today, she is confined to her room. She is not allowed to leave. In her confinement, the ebony colored desk beacons her. If only it were that simple. If only she could just get up and go. Get up and write. Get up and answer your why. Like why she always has internal battles and sudden irritations with herself, or why she so accurately feels the emotions of others, or why the things she wants are always so elusive.

She slides off her tiny twin bed — tiny seems to be the running theme in her life right now. She can hear the incessant bird calls behind her curtain. There are multiple rays of sunlight piercing through and making various shapes of light on her blanket. She runs all five fingers through one ray, turning her hand over and over. Five to fourteen days is what they said. It is day five and her mind mimics the behavior the sunlight blocked by her fingers — on and off, here and there, to and fro.

Never still. Never soaking in the now. Never present.

“Sunlight. Maybe that would be a good topic.” She wonders.

And just like that, a cloud moves into place and the rays are gone. Her room is back to its original state. Dim and darker. She makes her way to her tiny ebony desk. She opens her book and writes:

COVID-19 has taught me that there are no shadows in the darkness…


This post is a contribution to the Uganda Blogging Community’s #UGBlogMonth Challenge. I have missed being a part of this community and hope to participate as much as I can with this one. Every day, they will post different writing prompts, so perhaps you can join the fun.

For more information on the daily writing prompts: http://ugbloc.com/ugblogmonth-april-may-2020/.

Oh.. Also, I wrote this while listening to this… 

The Leadership Chase

I’ve been musing to myself all week
Wondering how I would reawaken my blogging but not interrupt my journaling
Then today… Epiphany hit while working

I was thinking about leadership and the low key aversion that I have for it
I treat all forms of leadership as responsibility. Big responsibility
So when people just step in fwa… I ask myself, how do you do it?

Anyway, then – I saw a proper description of me and leadership’s pursuit of me

You know the half hearted as-if yes as-if no, that is specifically looking at – well…. how much do you want oso? Mbu, show me your effort and I will consider?

Got that movie in your head?


Now photo this…



Dukaringgggg Misindeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!

And I mean like an Impala with Simba’s cousin on his heels.
I mean the form of scattering that happens when a roar is heard coming from the distant horizon.
I mean like the shadow flees from the noon day sun


And there you have it.
Welcome back to my thoughts.


Day 7: #7yto40, the day i got attacked by a frisbee

I was ready to wax poetic. I was ready to get into some deep reflective jazz about life and all of it’s lessons. I was ready to start this off in a way that rivaled anything I have ever written. However, as in most of the things in my life, God went, “psht! why sooooo serious?!” and then, there, in the midst of my life – I became a frisbee magnet. A frisbee magnet.

Grab your chai mukalu with tea masala and let me narrate this story.

I woke up at 5:45am on the dot (what?!? I said I was going to narrate the story, why not start at the very beginning, a very good place to start). It is 5am and I am excited. I’m going to get an early start to my day so I smile up at heaven and ask God to speak a blessing over me. A blessing over my day that I already know is going to be amazing. I dress up, grab my lunch and am out the door by 6.20ish.

The air outside carried a little chill in it, but it was nothing that would classify itself as cold cold. You know? Bus comes along, it is one of the long ones so that means plenty of seating options. I get one that I’m normally partial to and am on campus in no time. I make a bee line to the cycling studio, shout out to Joan M Kiyingi, your influence in my life still continues. I’m listening to Dr. Caroline Leaf’s Switch on Your Brain as I trudge through the kilometers, wondering if today I will ride my furthest. I didn’t. The workout was awesome regardless.

The day carries on, like a soothing orchestra. From breakfast, to class, to meetings, the entire harmony pleasing to listen to. Afternoon arrives and I need to dash across campus to run an errand for a friend. The weather outside is delightful, I leave my jacket and choose instead my old trusty shawl (you know, the one Aine detests. I smile at the memory).

I’m outside. Campus is buzz with excitement. The weather is changing so there are shorts everywhere (it hasn’t changed that much for me yet). I’m enjoying it. The sense of freedom from winter and clothing baggage, the sense of new beginnings. Caroline is reading out the summary of lessons from chapter two in my headphones.

I see him running. He is in my periphery. Not today, I tell myself. Today, I will not be paranoid about being an object magnet, besides, there isn’t a volleyball in sight. He runs back throws a colored object towards a friend further off. I’m glancing at a hammock they have strung up between the trees. Someone brought speakers, I want to say boombox because it sounds cool but let me stick to speakers. They are playing music and I think I know the song. I should walk around campus more. Actually, I should really be listening to Caroline but my eyes wont submit to my ears, they want to see everything and take it all in.

One of his friends throws the thing toward him, he see him running, he is to my right now… but like I said, not today. I figure, if I stop and stand still, it will give him time to grab the object without crashing into me. It will likely fall behind me. I think to myself.

It was indeed, today.
Today was the day that saying “not today” would not work.

There were 3 points of impact.
My headphones. My clavicle. My neck.

It hit my neck.
My neck.
There are blood vessels in my neck.
Blood vessels on missions to and from my brain.
Blood vessels.

The numbing sensation was immediate. Everything within me clenched. The runner is now asking, are you okay. The only thing I heard myself say was AAAAOOOWWWWW (The English translation of this is ouch). At this point, I think he realises it didn’t lightly bounce off my headphones and he is asking where did it hit you. I see my left index finger point to the right side of my neck. Immediate concern erupts across all their faces, profuse apologizing begins.

My brain on the other hand is choking.

A frisbee hit you. It didn’t target your medulla oblongata (in the Ugandan sense of the term), it targeted your neck. As if a karate chop. I mean. What? How? Are you a sloth? Were you in zootopia? How fast was it going that you couldn’t implement years of kwepena practice?  Also were you walking with your neck out?

Now, because of this internal dialogue, there is a smile on my face. As in I’m in pain but I’m also smiling at these people who are apologizing. I reassure them that I’m okay with the smile now hurting my cheeks. While I’m walking away, my brain begins to change gears.

sooooo, you know there are vessels in your neck, you should prolly go to the clinic before you drop dead. Kyoka, you cannot even list any descendants and you are here walking with your neck out lege lege. Unbelievable. 

The smile is still on my face when I walk into the bank. When I text my friend with the details the banker provided. It is still on my face when I walk into the clinic. Even when the nurse asks, how can I help you today, I am still smiling. I tell her the story and she checks checks and says there are no obvious signs of something something haematoma.

My brain is now going,

You, your neck and frisbee have entered into a CSI movie.

She sympathizes with the entire episodes gives me stuff for the pain and tells me what to look out for and I’m on my way but the smile. It is STILL on my face.

On my way back to my lab, I walk by a shrub. The shrub that was to be the inspiration of the original day 7 post and now, I just burst out laughing…

Ah! This life!
You know when you have plans, well-thought-out-plans, that you hold on to in tightly clenched fists and then…

An encounter with a heat seeking frisbee…

Ps: Oh.. and the chapter two summary read out by Caroline started with
… You can control your reaction, you have a choice


Photo by Habila Mazawaje on Unsplash

Johanna Chronicles…Chapter 2

I heard this song today and I thought of you.

The face of an angel, pretty eyes that shine
I lie awake at night wishing you were mine
I’m standing here holding the biggest heartache in town
Whenever you come around

I get weak in the knees and I lose my breath
Oh I try to speak but the words won’t come I’m so scared to death
And when you smile that smile, the world turns upside down
Whenever you come around

And I feel so helpless I feel just like a kid
What is it about you that makes me keep my feelings hid
I wish I could tell you, but the words can’t be found
Whenever you come around

I get weak in the knees and I lose my breath
Oh I try to speak but the words won’t come I’m so scared to death
And when you smile that smile, the world turns upside down
Whenever you come around

I get weak in the knees and I lose my breath
Oh I try to speak but the words won’t come I’m so scared to death
And when you smile that smile, the world turns upside down
Whenever you come around

And when you smile that smile
The whole world turns upside down
Whenever you come around
Whenever you come around


Song Credit: Wasner, Pete; Gill, Vince.
Photo Credit: Photo by Alex Blăjan on Unsplash


Johanna Chronicles…Chapter 1

Please. Please do not look at me. I know you think I do not notice, but I see you looking at me. Please do not look at me because every time you do, you confuse me. So resist the urge and avert your eyes.

This is not a poem.
It’s worse than a poem.
It’s a baruha addressed to you.

To tell you to stop looking at me.

I see you. The brief vulnerability and questions that linger behind your gaze. My sprouting grey hairs are inversely proportional to the strength that is left in me. The strength to do this dance: a glance here, a look up; a glance there, a look down.

You steal my time yet again.
Here I am in the midst of a messy busy life.
Stealing time to send you this baruha.
Stop looking at me.

iwe deeba hariya,
na kweshengereza…

I remain,
the subject on the other side of your lens,


This is chapter 1 of the Johanna chronicles

We like to keep it playful on these premises… Johanna is coded, as long as your initials are not LRK, you may proceed to attempt to break it… If you care that is. As I said somewhere else, this one is dedicated to two among my favs:

1. Joel ‘Nevender’ Ntwatwa. You always called bs on my ‘fiction’ series. It’s been one year – one long year. I thought about you today – I was having a moment and I wondered, what would Joel say…

2. My darling Lyleee! I think God used the same clay when he was making us – You always get my random madness. Enjoy this tale of our Johanna and Kiconco. 

To coin me…. I am not yet sure where this story is heading but I hope you enjoy this journey of discovery with me.


Photo credit: Kyle Szegedi on Unsplash and Google Images

[Awa]Kanda Africa Ch. 1 #UGBlogWeek: Day5

It’s the smell of rain, I think to myself as I walk up Shady Av. I like walking, walking gives me time to think. My destination is the library, there is one in my neighborhood and it’s free so naturally it’s going to be one of my chosen escapes in this amazing place. It’s frigid windy and I forgot my pack of tissues in my bag at home. Well, perhaps the correct thing to say would be I forgot my bag all together. Hmmm… Forgot is the wrong word, laziness is the more operative term. Forgotten tissue means frozen nose, frozen nose means… This is not the intended direction for this post.

As I walk up the gravelled uneven sidewalk, I’m convinced that it’s the smell of rain. I haven’t smelled the rain or the coming of the rain in a long time and yet I’ve seen rain. A lot of rain.

Taking the left turn off Gayaza Road, there are no boda bodas in sight. The sky was rumbling and doing so rather loudly, any minute now she would let loose and it wouldn’t be a good idea to be in her path. The smell of her impending wrath was obvious when I started this journey on Kampala Road, but I’d been sending up desperate pleas the entire trip. Even when the Hmmmph, egenda kutonyas were whispered in the taxi, with all the faith and conviction I could muster, I rebuked and cancelled. I should have included the boda bodas in the prayer.

The breeze has her scent in it, rain that is.

That is probably the reason why the usual bodas guys are not here. The last time this happened, I was walking down from the Senate building at MUK (LOL! Yes, we have a senate building but it’s not what you think – I wonder if it’s still called that) and then people around me started running and I mean sprinting. I chose to stand still and look back instead of following the crowd – big mistake. H.u.g.e mistake! Soaked and drenched really do not really adeptly cover what happened next in this story, but it was the scent of rain that I’d missed.

The wind the blows your way and instinctively you know, rain is coming. Who taught you that that scent means rain? Why do we ran to take cover? Hmmm… Lol! Dumb question – who in life wants to get drenched?

We are more open and sensitive than we give ourselves credit for. Sometimes in life, it’s the simple things like this that engage or release the creative part of who we are. Those tiny quirks that add to our authenticity and make us who we are. In a different context, or out of our context, it might seem strange and something that we try to hide because it seems strange to someone else (because I mean come on, this is about to hit 500 words about the scent of rain and it’s not even a sonet – Nghihihih).

Don’t lose you because it fits someone else.



This post is part of April’s #UGBlogWeek – a week that Ugandan Bloggers come together to write under one theme. For this edition, the theme is Wakanda Africa Do You Envision. The first if it’s not clear: ‘[Awa]Kanda Africa’ is a spin off of ‘Our Kindda Africa’.

The second if it’s not clear (munange, never assume), the reason for this post is we have grown up “knowing things” things that may or may not have a scientific explanation and because they do not fit in cultured circles, we shun them. We shun them to fit in and in so doing, we lose a piece of ourselves – lol! I’m not being overly dramatic. Or perhaps I am…

Don’t lose the ‘kuku’ part of you for nada… Cluck Cluck as loud as you can… I see these chickens getting busy all up in my cage, I’m about to pluck two weeks, I’m up in my pay, Cluck, cluck, bodies rocking all up in my crib, Anybody want to know, the party’s still sick, Somebodies knocking, knocking, knocking at my door

Nghihihhihi, Ofcourse I couldn’t resist! If you do not know that song, consider visiting the unsubscribe section – WHAT?! This is my blog, I’m allowed to judge you – uh oooh, uh oh oh oh! … Just show a little love, represent your side like me… Lemme hear you say… 

Lol! Lemme gerourra hia!

S/o to these four peeps (they are also the reason for me jumping onto the wagon) who have fearlessly taken on this blogging challenge – Pearl Hmmph (Tehehe, I can see you doing the hmmph in my head),  Miti Pius, Kabiite, and Awori 😉 .

Image source: Google.

some kind of jungle

No. This is not a post about the corporate world or any ish like that. Nope. What I need you to do, is go make some chai – some strong chai, then come back and sit down for this kelele. Make sure it’s black tea, then get some tangawuzi, and add it in so that the kawowo can drift into your nostrils as you read.

Yesterday started out well. Very well actually. I’d managed to get a lot of things that were on my to-do list (read: 2 out of 7 things, yes that is a lot – and no my standards have not dropped). So here I am, for the first time in weeks feeling like, I gat this, I can do this… That evening I went for a happy hour – dubbed WAPpy Hour (I know! Wappy sounds so cute – I bet you said it in your looney toons voice, didn’t you? Tehehe… It has nothing to do with that beloved Saturday morning cartoon show. It’s part of the InterVarsity Graduate Fellowship that I attend).

Chatting is happening all around me, people catching up, others meeting other people for the first time, my focus was on the food table – there is that kachumbari read salsa that has mango in it – Yo! Any day of the week!!! So we are talking and then someone says:

The deer are coming out…

Me: giphy1

Every bone in my body was now alert… I would have said antenna but really what would an antenna be doing on your body? As if a dudu? So much talk about kingdom Animalia happening on this blog today, but wait, does dudu belong to kingdom Animalia or Insecta.

Dang! I digress…

So I silently thought to myself, they must have escaped from the zoo or a game park in that area. Hmmmmph! Mwana wange, take another sip and listen to this tale!

Zoo? Nassing!
Game Park? Nassing!

They live in the park.

My mind was now actively refusing to believe this reality. Next guess where this park is – behind my school. I mean a stone throw away from my school.

No. Because you are probably thinking that my school is in a kyalo. No! In the city. see-teh. The next evening, another person remarked about how he had seen one in downtown.

Okay, let me take a step back… Have you ever been in Javas or Cafesserie or on a game drive in Masai Mara or lining up to bungee jump above the Nile and then you hear someone smugly say:


*Rolls up sleeves* Nugu ki??????? As I pull on my ear lobe!! I just need someone to say that to me again. Come and say it to my face-o. Come and tell me-o. Come…  giphy2


If you are reading this and you do not know what TIA is – (insert Gabrielle Union’s voice – because my inside-my-head voice is Gabrielle Union’s voice) Awwww… Look at you… So cute… So sheltered. TIA is This is Africa – this is a pass that some people use in a sometimes derogatory way, sometimes joking way. It’s Africa (read: not developed or literate) do not expect too much…

For some reason, my mind still hoped that these two people from different circles of life were just pulling an elaborate joke on me.

Alas. On. My. Way. Home.

In. The. City.

There chewing on grass in the park, was a cousin of the Impala (It’s my blog, I can anoint cousins when I feel like). It was as if God was also in on it too. On the next turn, boom! 4 more cousins of the Eland eating grass.

Imagine for a second, you roll into the parking lot at Javas Kisementi. You walk around the car to open the door for your person (because chivalry is not dead). As you walk into the almost-always-crowded-and-loud-branch of Javas, you spot a family of Antelopes grazing in the park below.

No. This is not in Queen Elizabeth National Park.

In the city

Roll back to the day before the day before yesterday, the conversation that sparked this blog post: someone says,

Yeah, remember when there was a fox in your backyard….


You are probably thinking they meant:


A fox.


Image Source: Google & Giphy


sharing music on a Sunday afternoon…

Throwback to when sharing mix tapes was a thing. Actually Mix CDs was my thing… Haha, did we call them Mix CDs?

There used to be a guy on Luwum street… Guy used to take all my allowance in the name of music.

Heneway, now to the era of Mix Playlists – lol!
Although this one is 99.92% Boyz II Men.

Screen Shot 2018-04-16 at 10.52.01 AM

I have tried to pick out a fav, so I can post the lyrics here and make this post complete but alas – I have failed. Although, I have noticed that after all these years of being on Team Shawn (because Shawn), I think I am joining the Nate boat.