Day 7: #7yto40, the day i got attacked by a frisbee

I was ready to wax poetic. I was ready to get into some deep reflective jazz about life and all of it’s lessons. I was ready to start this off in a way that rivaled anything I have ever written. However, as in most of the things in my life, God went, “psht! why sooooo serious?!” and then, there, in the midst of my life – I became a frisbee magnet. A frisbee magnet.

Grab your chai mukalu with tea masala and let me narrate this story.

I woke up at 5:45am on the dot (what?!? I said I was going to narrate the story, why not start at the very beginning, a very good place to start). It is 5am and I am excited. I’m going to get an early start to my day so I smile up at heaven and ask God to speak a blessing over me. A blessing over my day that I already know is going to be amazing. I dress up, grab my lunch and am out the door by 6.20ish.

The air outside carried a little chill in it, but it was nothing that would classify itself as cold cold. You know? Bus comes along, it is one of the long ones so that means plenty of seating options. I get one that I’m normally partial to and am on campus in no time. I make a bee line to the cycling studio, shout out to Joan M Kiyingi, your influence in my life still continues. I’m listening to Dr. Caroline Leaf’s Switch on Your Brain as I trudge through the kilometers, wondering if today I will ride my furthest. I didn’t. The workout was awesome regardless.

The day carries on, like a soothing orchestra. From breakfast, to class, to meetings, the entire harmony pleasing to listen to. Afternoon arrives and I need to dash across campus to run an errand for a friend. The weather outside is delightful, I leave my jacket and choose instead my old trusty shawl (you know, the one Aine detests. I smile at the memory).

I’m outside. Campus is buzz with excitement. The weather is changing so there are shorts everywhere (it hasn’t changed that much for me yet). I’m enjoying it. The sense of freedom from winter and clothing baggage, the sense of new beginnings. Caroline is reading out the summary of lessons from chapter two in my headphones.

I see him running. He is in my periphery. Not today, I tell myself. Today, I will not be paranoid about being an object magnet, besides, there isn’t a volleyball in sight. He runs back throws a colored object towards a friend further off. I’m glancing at a hammock they have strung up between the trees. Someone brought speakers, I want to say boombox because it sounds cool but let me stick to speakers. They are playing music and I think I know the song. I should walk around campus more. Actually, I should really be listening to Caroline but my eyes wont submit to my ears, they want to see everything and take it all in.

One of his friends throws the thing toward him, he see him running, he is to my right now… but like I said, not today. I figure, if I stop and stand still, it will give him time to grab the object without crashing into me. It will likely fall behind me. I think to myself.

Alas!
It was indeed, today.
Today was the day that saying “not today” would not work.

Friends.
There were 3 points of impact.
My headphones. My clavicle. My neck.

It hit my neck.
My neck.
There are blood vessels in my neck.
Blood vessels on missions to and from my brain.
Blood vessels.

The numbing sensation was immediate. Everything within me clenched. The runner is now asking, are you okay. The only thing I heard myself say was AAAAOOOWWWWW (The English translation of this is ouch). At this point, I think he realises it didn’t lightly bounce off my headphones and he is asking where did it hit you. I see my left index finger point to the right side of my neck. Immediate concern erupts across all their faces, profuse apologizing begins.

My brain on the other hand is choking.
on.
laughter.

A frisbee hit you. It didn’t target your medulla oblongata (in the Ugandan sense of the term), it targeted your neck. As if a karate chop. I mean. What? How? Are you a sloth? Were you in zootopia? How fast was it going that you couldn’t implement years of kwepena practice?  Also were you walking with your neck out?

Now, because of this internal dialogue, there is a smile on my face. As in I’m in pain but I’m also smiling at these people who are apologizing. I reassure them that I’m okay with the smile now hurting my cheeks. While I’m walking away, my brain begins to change gears.

sooooo, you know there are vessels in your neck, you should prolly go to the clinic before you drop dead. Kyoka, you cannot even list any descendants and you are here walking with your neck out lege lege. Unbelievable. 

The smile is still on my face when I walk into the bank. When I text my friend with the details the banker provided. It is still on my face when I walk into the clinic. Even when the nurse asks, how can I help you today, I am still smiling. I tell her the story and she checks checks and says there are no obvious signs of something something haematoma.

My brain is now going,

CSI.
You, your neck and frisbee have entered into a CSI movie.

She sympathizes with the entire episodes gives me stuff for the pain and tells me what to look out for and I’m on my way but the smile. It is STILL on my face.

On my way back to my lab, I walk by a shrub. The shrub that was to be the inspiration of the original day 7 post and now, I just burst out laughing…

Ah! This life!
You know when you have plans, well-thought-out-plans, that you hold on to in tightly clenched fists and then…
This.

An encounter with a heat seeking frisbee…

Ps: Oh.. and the chapter two summary read out by Caroline started with
… You can control your reaction, you have a choice

 

Photo by Habila Mazawaje on Unsplash

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Johanna Chronicles…Chapter 2

Johanna,
I heard this song today and I thought of you.

The face of an angel, pretty eyes that shine
I lie awake at night wishing you were mine
I’m standing here holding the biggest heartache in town
Whenever you come around

I get weak in the knees and I lose my breath
Oh I try to speak but the words won’t come I’m so scared to death
And when you smile that smile, the world turns upside down
Whenever you come around

And I feel so helpless I feel just like a kid
What is it about you that makes me keep my feelings hid
I wish I could tell you, but the words can’t be found
Whenever you come around

I get weak in the knees and I lose my breath
Oh I try to speak but the words won’t come I’m so scared to death
And when you smile that smile, the world turns upside down
Whenever you come around

I get weak in the knees and I lose my breath
Oh I try to speak but the words won’t come I’m so scared to death
And when you smile that smile, the world turns upside down
Whenever you come around

And when you smile that smile
The whole world turns upside down
Whenever you come around
Whenever you come around

Kiconco.

Song Credit: Wasner, Pete; Gill, Vince.
Photo Credit: Photo by Alex Blăjan on Unsplash

 

Johanna Chronicles…Chapter 1

Please. Please do not look at me. I know you think I do not notice, but I see you looking at me. Please do not look at me because every time you do, you confuse me. So resist the urge and avert your eyes.

No.
This is not a poem.
It’s worse than a poem.
It’s a baruha addressed to you.

To tell you to stop looking at me.

I see you. The brief vulnerability and questions that linger behind your gaze. My sprouting grey hairs are inversely proportional to the strength that is left in me. The strength to do this dance: a glance here, a look up; a glance there, a look down.

You steal my time yet again.
Here I am in the midst of a messy busy life.
Stealing time to send you this baruha.
Stop looking at me.

iwe deeba hariya,
na kweshengereza…

I remain,
the subject on the other side of your lens,
Kiconco.

***

This is chapter 1 of the Johanna chronicles

We like to keep it playful on these premises… Johanna is coded, as long as your initials are not LRK, you may proceed to attempt to break it… If you care that is. As I said somewhere else, this one is dedicated to two among my favs:

1. Joel ‘Nevender’ Ntwatwa. You always called bs on my ‘fiction’ series. It’s been one year – one long year. I thought about you today – I was having a moment and I wondered, what would Joel say…

2. My darling Lyleee! I think God used the same clay when he was making us – You always get my random madness. Enjoy this tale of our Johanna and Kiconco. 

To coin me…. I am not yet sure where this story is heading but I hope you enjoy this journey of discovery with me.

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Photo credit: Kyle Szegedi on Unsplash and Google Images

[Awa]Kanda Africa Ch. 1 #UGBlogWeek: Day5

It’s the smell of rain, I think to myself as I walk up Shady Av. I like walking, walking gives me time to think. My destination is the library, there is one in my neighborhood and it’s free so naturally it’s going to be one of my chosen escapes in this amazing place. It’s frigid windy and I forgot my pack of tissues in my bag at home. Well, perhaps the correct thing to say would be I forgot my bag all together. Hmmm… Forgot is the wrong word, laziness is the more operative term. Forgotten tissue means frozen nose, frozen nose means… This is not the intended direction for this post.

As I walk up the gravelled uneven sidewalk, I’m convinced that it’s the smell of rain. I haven’t smelled the rain or the coming of the rain in a long time and yet I’ve seen rain. A lot of rain.

Taking the left turn off Gayaza Road, there are no boda bodas in sight. The sky was rumbling and doing so rather loudly, any minute now she would let loose and it wouldn’t be a good idea to be in her path. The smell of her impending wrath was obvious when I started this journey on Kampala Road, but I’d been sending up desperate pleas the entire trip. Even when the Hmmmph, egenda kutonyas were whispered in the taxi, with all the faith and conviction I could muster, I rebuked and cancelled. I should have included the boda bodas in the prayer.

The breeze has her scent in it, rain that is.

That is probably the reason why the usual bodas guys are not here. The last time this happened, I was walking down from the Senate building at MUK (LOL! Yes, we have a senate building but it’s not what you think – I wonder if it’s still called that) and then people around me started running and I mean sprinting. I chose to stand still and look back instead of following the crowd – big mistake. H.u.g.e mistake! Soaked and drenched really do not really adeptly cover what happened next in this story, but it was the scent of rain that I’d missed.

The wind the blows your way and instinctively you know, rain is coming. Who taught you that that scent means rain? Why do we ran to take cover? Hmmm… Lol! Dumb question – who in life wants to get drenched?

We are more open and sensitive than we give ourselves credit for. Sometimes in life, it’s the simple things like this that engage or release the creative part of who we are. Those tiny quirks that add to our authenticity and make us who we are. In a different context, or out of our context, it might seem strange and something that we try to hide because it seems strange to someone else (because I mean come on, this is about to hit 500 words about the scent of rain and it’s not even a sonet – Nghihihih).

Don’t lose you because it fits someone else.

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***

This post is part of April’s #UGBlogWeek – a week that Ugandan Bloggers come together to write under one theme. For this edition, the theme is Wakanda Africa Do You Envision. The first if it’s not clear: ‘[Awa]Kanda Africa’ is a spin off of ‘Our Kindda Africa’.

The second if it’s not clear (munange, never assume), the reason for this post is we have grown up “knowing things” things that may or may not have a scientific explanation and because they do not fit in cultured circles, we shun them. We shun them to fit in and in so doing, we lose a piece of ourselves – lol! I’m not being overly dramatic. Or perhaps I am…

Don’t lose the ‘kuku’ part of you for nada… Cluck Cluck as loud as you can… I see these chickens getting busy all up in my cage, I’m about to pluck two weeks, I’m up in my pay, Cluck, cluck, bodies rocking all up in my crib, Anybody want to know, the party’s still sick, Somebodies knocking, knocking, knocking at my door

Nghihihhihi, Ofcourse I couldn’t resist! If you do not know that song, consider visiting the unsubscribe section – WHAT?! This is my blog, I’m allowed to judge you – uh oooh, uh oh oh oh! … Just show a little love, represent your side like me… Lemme hear you say… 

Lol! Lemme gerourra hia!

S/o to these four peeps (they are also the reason for me jumping onto the wagon) who have fearlessly taken on this blogging challenge – Pearl Hmmph (Tehehe, I can see you doing the hmmph in my head),  Miti Pius, Kabiite, and Awori 😉 .

Image source: Google.

some kind of jungle

No. This is not a post about the corporate world or any ish like that. Nope. What I need you to do, is go make some chai – some strong chai, then come back and sit down for this kelele. Make sure it’s black tea, then get some tangawuzi, and add it in so that the kawowo can drift into your nostrils as you read.

Yesterday started out well. Very well actually. I’d managed to get a lot of things that were on my to-do list (read: 2 out of 7 things, yes that is a lot – and no my standards have not dropped). So here I am, for the first time in weeks feeling like, I gat this, I can do this… That evening I went for a happy hour – dubbed WAPpy Hour (I know! Wappy sounds so cute – I bet you said it in your looney toons voice, didn’t you? Tehehe… It has nothing to do with that beloved Saturday morning cartoon show. It’s part of the InterVarsity Graduate Fellowship that I attend).

Chatting is happening all around me, people catching up, others meeting other people for the first time, my focus was on the food table – there is that kachumbari read salsa that has mango in it – Yo! Any day of the week!!! So we are talking and then someone says:

The deer are coming out…

Me: giphy1

Every bone in my body was now alert… I would have said antenna but really what would an antenna be doing on your body? As if a dudu? So much talk about kingdom Animalia happening on this blog today, but wait, does dudu belong to kingdom Animalia or Insecta.

Dang! I digress…

So I silently thought to myself, they must have escaped from the zoo or a game park in that area. Hmmmmph! Mwana wange, take another sip and listen to this tale!

Zoo? Nassing!
Game Park? Nassing!

They live in the park.

My mind was now actively refusing to believe this reality. Next guess where this park is – behind my school. I mean a stone throw away from my school.

No. Because you are probably thinking that my school is in a kyalo. No! In the city. see-teh. The next evening, another person remarked about how he had seen one in downtown.

Okay, let me take a step back… Have you ever been in Javas or Cafesserie or on a game drive in Masai Mara or lining up to bungee jump above the Nile and then you hear someone smugly say:

TIA

*Rolls up sleeves* Nugu ki??????? As I pull on my ear lobe!! I just need someone to say that to me again. Come and say it to my face-o. Come and tell me-o. Come…  giphy2

T.I.A.

If you are reading this and you do not know what TIA is – (insert Gabrielle Union’s voice – because my inside-my-head voice is Gabrielle Union’s voice) Awwww… Look at you… So cute… So sheltered. TIA is This is Africa – this is a pass that some people use in a sometimes derogatory way, sometimes joking way. It’s Africa (read: not developed or literate) do not expect too much…

For some reason, my mind still hoped that these two people from different circles of life were just pulling an elaborate joke on me.

Alas. On. My. Way. Home.

In. The. City.

There chewing on grass in the park, was a cousin of the Impala (It’s my blog, I can anoint cousins when I feel like). It was as if God was also in on it too. On the next turn, boom! 4 more cousins of the Eland eating grass.

Imagine for a second, you roll into the parking lot at Javas Kisementi. You walk around the car to open the door for your person (because chivalry is not dead). As you walk into the almost-always-crowded-and-loud-branch of Javas, you spot a family of Antelopes grazing in the park below.

No. This is not in Queen Elizabeth National Park.

In the city

Roll back to the day before the day before yesterday, the conversation that sparked this blog post: someone says,

Yeah, remember when there was a fox in your backyard….

giphy3

You are probably thinking they meant:

Nope…

A fox.

tenor

Image Source: Google & Giphy


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sharing music on a Sunday afternoon…

Throwback to when sharing mix tapes was a thing. Actually Mix CDs was my thing… Haha, did we call them Mix CDs?

There used to be a guy on Luwum street… Guy used to take all my allowance in the name of music.

Heneway, now to the era of Mix Playlists – lol!
Although this one is 99.92% Boyz II Men.

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I have tried to pick out a fav, so I can post the lyrics here and make this post complete but alas – I have failed. Although, I have noticed that after all these years of being on Team Shawn (because Shawn), I think I am joining the Nate boat.